


Compromises

by booksong



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: F/M, Fluff, Loopholes, can't believe i fell in love with this ship so fast, kind of, mutual feelings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-19
Updated: 2013-07-19
Packaged: 2017-12-20 17:37:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,359
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/889989
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/booksong/pseuds/booksong
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Neither of them have the time or the patience for this love thing.  So this might take some creative thinking.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Compromises

In Captain Levi’s opinion, falling in love was probably one of the stupidest things anyone could do, right up there with leaving the windows open when a storm was clearly moving in, or trying to communicate with Titans. It was foolish enough for anyone, really, what with the utter loss of control over one’s life and emotions it represented, but for a member of the Scouting Legion it was certifiably insane. You simply could not make room in your life for another person that way, not when it was a daily struggle to keep yourself (and in his case, everyone you were responsible for) alive. The favoritism of it went against every aspect of teamwork and trust he was supposed to cultivate among his squads. And the mess it would leave behind when, inevitably, you or the other person were eventually eaten…it wasn’t even worth thinking about. Levi hated that kind of emotional mess almost as much as the physical kind.  


But at the same time, Hansi Zoe was already a mess, of both kinds. He already often had to be the one to make sure she was eating, and bathing, and had enough blankets, and wasn’t going to fall off her horse next time they went out scouting. He had already fallen into the habit of keeping one eye on her when he could, even in the midst of pitched Titan battle, and even when he knew from the sounds of her wild war cries that she was doing just fine. He was already the one who would comment bitingly on her more absurd experiments or be reluctantly impressed at the unexpectedly brilliant ones. It had already become natural; it had a feeling of inevitability to it, even. It was also something he absolutely could not afford, and it irritated him to no end. 

Hansi Zoe had absolutely no time to fall in love. There was literally nowhere for her to pencil it in among the myriad things she needed to devote her manic attention to, not without seriously reshuffling her priorities. And she was not about to put something like…like… _romance_ above inventing a signal flare that could double as a tear gas that affected Titans, or trying to convince Eren Yeager to let her have one of his fingernails (for _science_ , why didn’t the boy get that?!). She already had enough friends to fulfill the social yearnings she got every once in a while, but a boyfriend (or, worse, a _lover_ ) would require a great deal more mental and emotional maintenance. She might have to cut short an epiphany to spend time with them, or they might make her stop eating in the lab, or she’d have to actually think about what she was wearing when she was around them. The ripples that would spread from it would be disastrous.  


But at the same time, Levi was a very _distracting_ person, almost like a difficult scientific problem that was constantly worrying at her brain, only in a much shorter, grouchier, and more masculine shape. She was aware of him in a way she wasn’t of most other people, whether they were at headquarters or beyond the walls or vaulting through a forest or town fighting Titans. He always seemed to insert himself into her life, her thoughts, her routines, and so even though he was never officially on her to-do list he was always there anyway, which should have been very inconvenient, but somehow wasn’t. And _that_ distracted her even more, which was bound not to have a good impact on her research. 

And that was why they came to their compromise. It wasn’t something they’d discussed; indeed, neither of them really guessed that any such compromise existed between them at all, except maybe in the hazy, illogical musings that came to Hansi as she scribbled notes, or Levi as he attacked a windowsill with a dust rag, or sometimes when their gazes would catch just so. 

And so if any of the other recruits or officers asked them if they were in love with the other, teasing or needling or honestly curious, they could both reply with utmost certainty that they absolutely weren’t. Even when their occasionally traitorous minds asked the same thing in moments of weakness, they had ironclad defenses prepared with which to refute those lines of thinking. Hansi would have her usual cheerfully manic look whenever she fielded questions, when for Levi it would be a deadly, narrow-eyed glare, but neither of them ever hesitated in responding firmly in the negative, because it was true. 

Levi did not fall in love with Hansi Zoe. 

He fell in love with how mad and foolish she looked when only one lens of her glasses was cracked, and when half-but-not-all of her ponytail was undone (as it often was). He fell in love with the way her crazed battle cry and her scream of victorious discovery in the lab had the exact same pitch to them. He fell in love with how she was the only who didn’t quail when he turned his cold voice or his narrowed eyes on the squads to berate them for something, the way she could grin and almost bounce in place even as he railed at her for taking a risk or ignoring an order. He fell in love with the fact that the moment she completed her first successful prototype for a cloak that repelled Titan blood, she gave it to him without a second thought. He fell in love with the way that, whenever the legion lost soldiers, she would find a way to catch his hand in the corridors when no one was looking and press his palm to her chest over her heartbeat, whispering fiercely, “Feel that? _We’re still here_.” He fell in love with her impossible belief that she would be able to unlock all the mysteries of Titans, so they could be used or befriended or at least killed more easily, and mankind would be safe at last. 

And all that was much simpler than having to worry about ever loving Hansi herself.

Hansi did not fall in love with Captain Levi, either. 

She fell in love with how brisk yet gentle his hands were when he washed her hair, or yanked clothes on or off her when she wouldn’t or couldn’t do it herself. She fell in love with the way he sniffed in disdain over her theories and scribblings, but would still lie on his cot for an hour and let her read them aloud to him. She fell in love with the whirling grace with which he dispatched Titans, a spinning blur trailing blood and flashes of reflected light. She fell in love with how you could tell where he’d been on any given day, just by noticing where the scents of blood and sweat and must had been replaced by the smells of citrus, sandalwood, and wildflowers. She fell in love with the way he’d come back after battles with only the knees and sleeves of his uniform and the hem of his cloak dark with blood and grime, and she knew it was because he’d been kneeling in the dirt, holding someone’s head or hand as they died. She fell in love with the fact that the one time she’d kissed him on impulse, drunk and high on adrenaline from a battle, she swore he’d started to kiss her back. She fell in love with the way he could care so, so much about the people around him without ever showing it, because he couldn’t see what good that would do. 

And that way, she didn’t have to allot any of her precious time to actually falling in love with Levi himself. 

Hansi knew what a loophole was; she wouldn’t have counted herself much of a scientist if she hadn’t. And Levi knew what it meant to skirt orders or bend the rules; he had done it in the past, and would no doubt do it again. 

Perhaps the fact that both of them had conveniently decided to forget such things was another kind of compromise.

**Author's Note:**

> I decided to compromise a little myself on some of the details in this; for example I chose to make Levi’s rank ‘Captain’ after reviewing this ([x](http://calorescence.tumblr.com/post/54742311231/shingeki-no-kyojin-myth-levi-is-a-lance)) post about manga rank translations, and my spelling of names (especially Hansi's) is also taken from a well-reasoned tumblr post ([x](http://maxiburger.tumblr.com/post/52189496034/list-of-names-from-attack-on-titan-and-their-correct)). In exchange, while I am aware of Hansi’s intended gender ambiguity in the manga and debated about pronoun use, in the end I used fem!Hansi in accordance with anime canon. It’s my opinion though that virtually every aspect of their relationship (and this fic) would remain unchanged regardless, so feel free to be as fluid as you like in your interpretation. :)
> 
> This is my most recent ship for the SnK fandom, and yet it spawned my first fic for it. Go figure, the two of them are awesome that way. Hope you enjoyed reading!


End file.
